Rooter’s Dozen

As a sports fan, I find it much more fun to watch a game that includes a team in which I have a vested interest. But any sporting event is more fun to watch if you are rooting for someone. Therefore, I have developed 12 rules by which I choose for whom to root in any given game. In descending order of influence:

1. FOR the team in which I have a legitimate vested interest (team of birth, alma mater, etc.): Yankees, Giants (NY), Penn State; also Knicks, Rangers

2. FOR the team in which a loved one has a legitimate vested interest: University of Virginia, Columbia, Redskins (that one hurts), Fordham, Nationals

3. AGAINST the historic or personal rival of a team from item No. 1 (or, sometimes, 2):
Red Sox, Notre Dame, Pitt, Cowboys, Alabama, Miami, Virginia Tech

4. FOR the team whose win has a negative impact on the Red Sox or Notre Dame

5. AGAINST the team coached by Pork-Faced Satan (Jimmy Johnson), any Holtz, Barry Switzer or Steve Spurrier

6. AGAINST the team with puppy-killers and/or an abundance of criminals on the team, or the team ardently supported by someone I hate

7. FOR the team with more Penn Staters

8. AGAINST the team from Texas

9. FOR the team with seriously die-hard, yet not dangerous, fans: Green Bay

10. AGAINST the team that betrayed its fans by moving to a different city: Dodgers, Ravens (Jeff says the Nationals don’t count here, as they had no fans in Montreal)

11. FOR the underdog or whichever team plays in colder weather

12. (tie) FOR the team of the city in which I currently live/AGAINST the team with the fairest-weather fans (this one can be hard, as it is often the same team: SF Giants, 49ers)

I do hope this is helpful in making your personal rooting decisions.

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